I left my heart in Japan

It’s been almost a month since I left Japan; Osaka to be exact. Not even a night I spent without mising Japan and wishing I could go back there again. In the first 2 weeks, I still thought that it’s normal and it’s not a big deal. I think when a person had lived in a certain place for quite some time, they will surely miss it while adapting to the new place (or in my case, adapting to the chaos Jakarta again).

But recently I think it starts to get worser as the ache in my heart doesn’t seem to start to recover at all. I started to think that it’s not healthy to keep thinking like "urgh, it’s not how we do it in Japan", "argh, the public transportation here is so shitty", or "wow this country definitely isn’t going anywhere at least in 200 years". I do, think like that unconsciously, the whole time. It consumes me more than I want to admit.

I think the effect is close to a heartbreak. It’s pretty much like you just broke up with your girlfriend / boyfriend. The sadness, the cries, the mourn, the pain, the list is going on like crazy. The ache in your heart everytime you see anything related to your ex, is the exact same ache I feel everytime I see anything related to my life back when I was in Japan. Everytime I hear the songs I used to hear a lot in Japan, I can’t help to be sad, no matter what I do, no matter where I am.

I read somewhere that you can be addicted to sadness, and I realized that when I’m voluntarily give my heart a space to be sad. I will turn on the ‘Osaka playlist’ songs and just lay down in my bed hugging my pillow and let tears start falling down my cheeks. Now THIS is not healthy, at all. It’s not OK and I dont know what do I have to do to get over it.

Japan. This country touches my heart, to the deepest part of it, slowly grabbed it and now Japan is completely the owner of my heart.

I left my heart in Japan.

Things I Learned from Interviewing People

Since I’m the only local person in my department who speaks Japanese, I helped HR department when they’re interviewing a Japanese speaker staff. Well, besides looking for my successor, apparently my department decides to have a manager who speaks Japanese. Wicked!

I became a little bit used to interviewing people. It’s basically just questioning them in Japanese, which is I’m not that excel too (haha). But yeah it always makes them feel like “Oh God this girl can speak fluent Japanese!” or “Oh look this girl is so calm throwing questions! She must have lived in Japan for several years!” or at least that’s what I assumed seeing them all nervous and sweaty (yes, almost all the guys I interviewed were sweating).

Last Friday was pretty interesting. So there are 3 guys that we interviewed, let’s call them Mr. A, Mr. B, and Mr. C. Please note that most of the person I interviewed was older than me. I feel like a little princess who’s looking for a guy to amuse me because I’m super bored and don’t own a wifi router.

Here are things that I learned after interviewing them.

Mr. A

He went to a not-very-reputable university and took English Literature major. He studied for 3 years, did NOT finish it but instead went to Japan for some 3 years factory internship program. That’s where he got his Japanese language skill (d’uh!) but he doesn’t own a legitimate TOEFL certificate. What a lousy English Literature major student. And to be honest, his English was really not that good. He even requested to answer the question in Bahasa Indonesia! Dude, not cool.

After he’s back to Indonesia, he went to a different college, start from zero in computer major. The weirdest thing of this guy is when he described his job. He basically only did administrating job and a little translating in between, BUT he receives a much higher salary than I did! What the heck?!? I’m highly doubt that and believe he exaggerated his current salary, like, probably almost twice than the real salary he got.

Lesson learned:

-          - Do NOT ever request to change the language when you’re interviewed in a language other than your mother language. Just, don’t.

-          - Do NOT exaggerate your salary TOO MUCH. It’s OK to do it from time to time, but don’t over-do it.

Mr. B

He went to universities in Japan for both of his bachelor and master degree, graduate with summa cum laude GPA (perfect 4.00 GPA for his master degree), received the Monbukagakusho Scholarship, his TOEIC score was 825, have a JLPT N1 certificate. Bottom line, he’s not human. He’s a mutant with a super intelligent brain. Yet he’s very humble, calm and he even referred himself as “not very good in Japanese language”. I was ready to throw off my pencil at his face.

When my manager tells him about our business, he listened to it and asked some very good questions. I could see that this guy is really, really smart with eagle eyes that sees what human generally don’t see. He’s that good. And cool. And good looking. And married.

Anyway, beside my broken heart of seeing his wedding ring, this guy is top-notch but probably over qualified for the position. He expected high salary, which is OK considering his background.

Lesson learned:

-          - Be bold when questioning about the company and the job. You can see immediately what you’re gonna get through if you take the job.

-         -  Be humble. Even though it makes some people want to throw things at your face, it’s still a lot better than be a smug.

Mr. C

Firstable, this guy doesn’t speak good English and never took any TOEFL test. He’s currently working in an Indonesian company. When we asked him why he wanted to leave his job, he said that he wants to work in a international company. I think he meant was bi-national company since he only speaks Bahasa Indonesia and Japanese Language. International, you say? We wouldn't hire this guy, but for the sake of humanity, we still interviewed him. I don’t know why HR department sent him to us.

He has a really loud voice despite the fact the he also went to Japan for a 3 years factory internship. I guess he went to a part of Japan where people speaks loudly to each other. I don’t know what part of Japan is that, but oh well.

Lesson learned:

-          - Try your best to adjust your voice volume to match your surroundings.

-          - When you apply for an international company, for the love of God, SPEAK ENGLISH. Seriously.

Soo.. I’m not the one who’s going to choose them since I’m only helping. Not sure the management already picks the winner either. But it’s a good experience since I’ll be having some interview for my self too in the future *wink*.

The difference between being alone and being lonely

"Being alone is a fact, while being lonely is a state of mind."

-read somewhere in twitter

I’m a shitty introvert who actually like being alone but also needs to be in a crowded place sometimes. So, you’ll see me in a crowded place but looks … lonely (?). It gets me in a kind of ‘nowhere’ state when I was’ here’ but wishes to be’ there’, but when I actually get ‘there’ then I wish to be back to ‘here’. Haha, confusing, huh?

So it got me thinking, what’s the difference between being alone and being lonely? What kind of relation do these two words have?

You will know if someone is being alone when you see them sitting in a park without anyone sitting beside them and talk to them. That’s alone. You can actually SEE them being alone.

You see a person sitting in a bunch of people in a party, talking to each other, laughing, but secretly one of those people doesn’t feel quite the same happiness as others. Can you SEE it? No.

Being alone does not always mean that you’re sad because you don’t have a companion at the time. You CAN be happy even if you’re alone. Everybody needs a ‘me time’. So you have no right to judge a person when they go shopping alone or watch a movie alone. Especially when they look happy doing it. Even if they don’t show the happiness, I can still sense if someone’s enjoy shopping alone. Wow, introverts do stand with each other. #IntrovertsUnited

The other thing about being alone, for me, it’s more like an accomplishment after the ‘extrovert’ things I’ve been through all the weekdays. After 5 days in touch with the people in my office; from fun person who cheers me up to fucktards who makes my life turns to a sudden hell, I always need at least a day in 1-2 weeks of being alone. It’s like I’m charging my energy to mingle with people again. Trust me; dealing with people can be an energy-sucker

Being packed in a crowded laughing people does not always mean that you’re completely happy, either. Probably it is, for some of you. But for me, the shitty introvert, it’s not like that all the time. I like to be in the middle of a crowd; hell I even need it, sometimes. But when I run out of my extrovert energy, that’s when I feel I have to crawl back to my cave, just sit still in my short pants sipping ice tea while reading some books or watching sitcoms. And just laugh like Beavis and Butthead.

I can tell when loneliness attacks me. It’s when being alone doesn’t help anymore. It’s when being with another people, also, doesn’t help. 

So yes, I agree with the statement I saw when scrolling down my twitter timeline: “being lonely is a state of mind”. It doesn’t matter where you are, who you’re with, or what you do. When you FEEL lonely, you can’t help it.

Fortunately since loneliness is just a state of mind, you can turn around this situation by yourself. When you reach certain maturity, you WILL find something to prevent you to feel lonely. Most of the time people would just hit a party or meeting people, but in other case, being alone might help you. 

Funny how you can cure loneliness by being alone. 

How Education Went Wrong in Indonesia

I just saw the movie Whiplash. For you who already watched it, it was intense, right? But I’m not going to write a review about the movie.

It’s just, this movie somehow reminds me of my elementary school’s math teacher. She was able to make this fear atmosphere every time she walked into the classroom. The class would be in a total silence, pupils are nervously prepared their books on the table, and yes, we were afraid of her. Or was it just me who got very, very scared of her?

Why the hell did I get so scared of her?

I’m not very excellent in math. You wouldn't believe how much time I spent standing in front of the class being punished, desperately trying to solve the math problems she gave just to get my ass back to my seat, and almost crying thinking how stupid I was because I couldn't give her the right answer. And she, in all of her arrogance, successfully made me think that I’m not an excellent student and that I’d probably end up not having a good education in a higher level and would not have a bright future. She was totally brainwashed all the students, probably the parents too, to think that math is the basis of all kind of education.

This is where education went wrong.

A teacher should see what their student really best at, and not push them to be good at something they don’t have any interest at, or simply just not born with that particular ability. I’m not saying that if I’m not good in math then I shouldn't study math at all. D’uh.

What if someone was excellent in other subject but they already got this ‘not having a bright future if you don’t excel in math’ stereotype planted in their brain and lose their interest to education? Teachers SHOULD NOT turn this against their students and make the students feel embarrassed by not excelling in a particular subject.

Well, here I am, being not good in math, reached a high level of literature education in a reputable university, graduated cum laude, got a full time job 1 week after my graduation ceremony, and make enough wage to pay my own study abroad in Japan.

If she thinks that I can have more than that if I was excelled in math, then why did she become an elementary school math teacher in a small town herself anyway? Shouldn't she be riding her limousine eating caviar after having a holiday in Hawaii with her private jet plane?

Wow it turns out to be an emotional post, sorry.

Why Indonesian Kids Looks like They’re Obsessed with Doraemon

I’m telling you why. Because we grew up with Doraemon.

During my childhood in the 90s, TV channels in Indonesia have this “marathon” of cartoon shows (mostly Japanese cartoon) on Sunday morning from around 6 to 11 AM almost in every channel. To be fair we don’t have that much of TV channels at that time. There were only like 5 or 6 channels if I’m not mistaken.

The highlight of these cartoons is of course, Doraemon, which is aired in RCTI at 8 AM. Even until now, it’s still aired at precisely the same time. I think it’s started since I was born (?) and never change until I’m already 25 years old now. How cool is that?

As a little kid, we can relate to Nobita who’s always asking Doraemon to give him the magic tools that come from the future so he can do the impossible things like flying, go anywhere we want in a blink of an eye, or tools that makes you smart without having to study. 

It makes innocent kids like us thinks, “Hey, I want my own Doraemon!”. 

Sadly we won’t have our own Doraemon until like, 200 years from now, probably. So we keep Doraemon in a special place in our heart.

Hence the obsession.

Last month the movie Doraemon Stand By Me is on theaters in Indonesia. I know that in Japan, Doraemon regularly have a movie that comes in theaters, but not in Indonesia. This is the first time that we can watch Doraemon in theaters, so everybody who grew up in the 90s is so excited. Plus, the plot of the movie is that Doraemon is going back to the future and leave Nobita behind. It feels like the end of Doraemon and it kills a little bit of our child soul deep down inside.

The tickets sold like crazy! Even I had to buy online about a week before the premiere day. And when me and my friends went to the theater to see the movie, MY DEAR LORD I’ve never seen such crowded theater in my life. After I done watching the movie at 9 PM, people were still in line to buy the tickets!

Funny thing is, when I talk about how excited people in Indonesia about this upcoming movie of Doraemon to my Japanese colleague, they don’t seem slightly interested at all. They’re like, “yeah lately I saw a lot of Doraemon commercials on TV in Japan but I’m not really sure why” or “you DO know that this is NOT the ending of Doraemon, right?”.

Now I see why we seem a little bit obsessed about Doraemon. Even my boyfriend calls me a “Doraemon Otaku” when we visited Fujiko F Fujio museum in Japan. If I’m being called obsessed over Doraemon, I’m taking all the 90s children in Indonesia down with me to the Doraemon Otaku land. LOL.

Resolutions: 3 Things I Need to Stop in 2015

Happy New Year guys!

Talk about resolution, I’m not the kind of person who would list all the things I want to be happen in the whole year. 1 year is a pretty much long time, I think, and unpredictable things happen all the time. So I’m not really into listing all the details.

However, generally, I believe we can be a better person each day. Let it be New Year’s Eves, birthdays, or any special occasions. This is more like introspective resolutions, not “Stop eating and lost 10 kg this year” or “Visit 10 new countries” kind of thing.

So, here are the 3 things I should stop in 2015 and on.

1. Stop Doing Things Only For Social Media Sake

You have asthma and can’t breathe with cigarettes smoke around you, but you still go to the club just to post the pictures in the social media. Trust me; this phenomenal really happens in Jakarta. You shouldn't be miserable just to be able to show people that you’re so hip, or something like that.

Just, stop it. It’s not healthy. You may have an “attention-whore-disorder” or “thirsty-of-people’s-approval syndrome”. Go see a psychiatric.

2. Stop Trying To Please Everybody

I can’t stress this enough, but THERE’S NO WAY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY IN YOUR LIFE. You don’t live for people’s happiness; you live for YOUR happiness.

I’ll be quitting my job and go to Japan this year. My family might not approve this 100% (though my Mom is acting very supportive, thank God). The managers in my office might not be happy. But if I have to please everybody, I’ll never make any decision for my life, ever. Something’s gotta give.

3. Stop Expecting People To Do Something You Think They Should Do

It’s the other side of the coin of the 2 first points. Just because a person is living in a metropolitan city, they don’t have to wear branded stuff all the time (and miserably eating instant noodles at the end of the month). Just because a person has a technical degree doesn’t mean he/she can’t open up a café and be a cook.

Stop pushing your opinion and be judgmental all the time. It’s none of your business. You do people a favor by stop shoving what you think ideal to their brains.

That’s my so-called-revolutions this year. Ganbare!