Friday, February 6, 2015

The difference between being alone and being lonely

"Being alone is a fact, while being lonely is a state of mind."

-read somewhere in twitter

I’m a shitty introvert who actually like being alone but also needs to be in a crowded place sometimes. So, you’ll see me in a crowded place but looks … lonely (?). It gets me in a kind of ‘nowhere’ state when I was’ here’ but wishes to be’ there’, but when I actually get ‘there’ then I wish to be back to ‘here’. Haha, confusing, huh?

So it got me thinking, what’s the difference between being alone and being lonely? What kind of relation do these two words have?

You will know if someone is being alone when you see them sitting in a park without anyone sitting beside them and talk to them. That’s alone. You can actually SEE them being alone.

You see a person sitting in a bunch of people in a party, talking to each other, laughing, but secretly one of those people doesn’t feel quite the same happiness as others. Can you SEE it? No.

Being alone does not always mean that you’re sad because you don’t have a companion at the time. You CAN be happy even if you’re alone. Everybody needs a ‘me time’. So you have no right to judge a person when they go shopping alone or watch a movie alone. Especially when they look happy doing it. Even if they don’t show the happiness, I can still sense if someone’s enjoy shopping alone. Wow, introverts do stand with each other. #IntrovertsUnited

The other thing about being alone, for me, it’s more like an accomplishment after the ‘extrovert’ things I’ve been through all the weekdays. After 5 days in touch with the people in my office; from fun person who cheers me up to fucktards who makes my life turns to a sudden hell, I always need at least a day in 1-2 weeks of being alone. It’s like I’m charging my energy to mingle with people again. Trust me; dealing with people can be an energy-sucker

Being packed in a crowded laughing people does not always mean that you’re completely happy, either. Probably it is, for some of you. But for me, the shitty introvert, it’s not like that all the time. I like to be in the middle of a crowd; hell I even need it, sometimes. But when I run out of my extrovert energy, that’s when I feel I have to crawl back to my cave, just sit still in my short pants sipping ice tea while reading some books or watching sitcoms. And just laugh like Beavis and Butthead.

I can tell when loneliness attacks me. It’s when being alone doesn’t help anymore. It’s when being with another people, also, doesn’t help. 

So yes, I agree with the statement I saw when scrolling down my twitter timeline: “being lonely is a state of mind”. It doesn’t matter where you are, who you’re with, or what you do. When you FEEL lonely, you can’t help it.

Fortunately since loneliness is just a state of mind, you can turn around this situation by yourself. When you reach certain maturity, you WILL find something to prevent you to feel lonely. Most of the time people would just hit a party or meeting people, but in other case, being alone might help you. 

Funny how you can cure loneliness by being alone. 

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